


Potty in the back

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Series: Omovember 2020 [30]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Awkward Neal Caffrey, Embarrassment, Humor, Indignant Neal Caffrey, Omovember 2020, Omovember 30, Urination, on a boat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: AND....DONE!WhewThat’s it, ladies and gentleman...jesus christ, thank fucking god that I amfinallydone! November only has 30 days ;)never doing this again...probably.
Series: Omovember 2020 [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987816
Kudos: 6
Collections: WC²





	Potty in the back

Neal had put on something other than a fedora...for other reasons than cultural, this time. Peter had rented a boat. Not nearly as nice as Frank Wellington’s, but doable. And durable.

El had incessantly been commenting on how cute his hair looked from underneath his green cap. It was a little much, but warmed his heart all the same.

“I’m just glad she didn’t start kissing it,” he mentioned as they stepped onboard. “I’d never get that out,”

“You stopped wiping your cheek when Satchmo does it,” Burke pointed out.

“I don’t have self-cleansing pores in my follicles,” Caffrey countered.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They enjoyed themselves with chips, soda, and fishing small herring.

Neal stood up, admiring the waves. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Ehm...Peter?” the Suit turned at the voice. “Did you see where the bathroom is?” he had to ask, rubbing the inside of his legs, crossing them at the heel.

“Sorry, afraid not..you can find it. Just check the doors,” Burke recommended. 

Caffrey nodded and disappeared down the small stairs.

* * *

Looking about, Neal did not find any door that led to a restroom of any kind. Not that his bladder got the memo,  _ so to speak _ . Every door he opened, it gave a little prod, reminding him to use the “bathroom” that was supposedly in front of him.

_ I’ve opened far too many doors to a toilet in my life... _ he surmised, hurrying up the process and holding himself once or twice- checking behind his back for his friend; who’d also drank some.

He returned, no more relieved than before.

  
“I can’t find it,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not  _ there _ , Peter. I’ve looked everywhere, every nook and cranny. No dice,” Neal insisted.

Agent Burke attempted to locate it. No luck for him either.

“Well, that’s stupidity of the highest order,” he grumbled. “You’ll just have to do it off the side, I guess,” Peter shrugged.

  
“Excuse me?” Caffrey raised a sceptical eyebrow.

“Come on, it’ll work, the railing’s more than low enough,” he certified.

“Yeah, low enough for people to  _ see  _ me,” Neal waved his hands, demonstrating his immense refusal; eventually putting his hands in his pockets, protruding his hip as well as retracting it, to display dualling definitions of discomfort.

“Look around, there’s no one here. And your knees are telling me the empty soda cans won’t suffice,” Peter encouraged.

He had been bouncing his legs. He looked around, trying to decide where to tee off. Or rather  _ pee off... _

“Right rutter,” his handler decided for him. Meaning the right side of the boat, opposite where he was.

Neal strode down there, observing Burke still sitting in his lounge chair not looking anywhere near him.

the con man unzipped, hoisted it over the edge like an anchor and aimed vaguely into the sea.

“Swim away now, I’m about to pee on ya,” he muttered as a warning to the sea life.

Peter smiled at the endearing event.

It was spray on spray as Neal’s urine hit the foam, though mercifully there was no splashback of either; the boat was tall enough to guard against that.

He finished, putting both saltwater and sanitizer on his hands, the first after the second.

The Suit announced that they would be sailing back. Caffrey questioned this. The sea was a bathroom in all respects, and they would only be out for one more break anyway; not his.

“I just figured you’d want to spare the fish additional trauma,” he quipped. 

Neal blushed. And closed the box of dead fish.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> **AND....DONE!**
> 
> _Whew_ That’s it, ladies and gentleman...jesus christ, thank fucking god that I am _finally_ done! November only has 30 days ;)
> 
>  _never doing this again..._ probably.


End file.
